Friday, May 21, 2010

Mine & Alyssa's Night in the ER

Last night I went to the ER to get Alyssa's foot checked. She fell down 2 cement steps while subbing. As we were sitting in the waiting room, we started to actually enjoy our time there.
At one point a man with long dark hair in a pony tail came to sit in front of us. I was checking out his head. I asked Alyssa if she had a pen and she didn't so I told her that I wanted to tell her something but I couldn't verbally tell her. She gave me her cell so I could text it. As I was writing... "I think the man in front of us uses that spray on hair" she started to laugh. She replied that "it's peeling off"! And it was! We had a nice laugh with that. Then these 2 obese women came in and sat 2 rows in front of us. Why do they think they look nice wearing skin tight clothes (that was the style of these clothes not that they just fit tight) when they're VERY LARGE? Alyssa was at the registration desk. I noticed the 'back fat' on the fattest lady. She had so much back fat that it looked like 2 huge boobs in the back! As she sat there, the 'boobs' were on each side of the chair sticking out.... but it gets better. You know the plastic small rectangle thing on the bra straps, well hers was in the back of each strap and PERFECTLY situated to be in the middle of each back boob to look like NIPPLES! I was dieing! All I kept thinking of was that I forgot my cell at home and I need Alyssa to get back here so we can get a picture of that sight! I was having a very hard time sitting quietly!
Then we go into the triage room. A nice boy gives me a chair and puts it close to the curtain separating Alyssa from the lady in the next partition. We're chatting and all of a sudden we hear gagging, then spitting, then throwing up RIGHT NEXT TO ME on the other side of the curtain. It got so bad that Alyssa wasn't holding back saying sounds like ugh etc. I don't remember what the lady did but she made some noise that made Alyssa and I BURST out laughing so hard. We couldn't control ourselves! It was so funny. We had tears rolling down our faces!
When Alyssa was getting X ray'd, an ambulance transport guy came in to take an old lady back to her nursing home. She obviously had dementia and the ambulance guy had quite a sense of humor. She was yelling "where are you taking me"? and "Who are you"? He explained that he was taking her back to the nursing home which was good but answered the who are you part with "I'm the Angel of Death". OMG! Then she asked where she was and he said St Josephs Hosp. We were at New Island! Then he was bringing the blanket up around her shoulders and she started to yell at him "get those hands off of me. Those 2 things belong to ME, NOT your hands, so get them off"! The guy explained what he was doing with the blanket and she said "I know you men, it's all you think about"! Then they took her away.
I have to say, we were in the ER for 4 hours and we had so many laughs it made it feel like 1 hour! I never realized how much fun you could have in an ER!
Alyssa's foot is fine!

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